Take a Walk in our Shoes!

Molly: Alright.  I am exhausted.  I tried to take a nap this afternoon but there was guilt radiating from the other half of the room.  Guilty about the shoes I purchased, the money I spent at H&M, and the fact that I was literally laying horizontally across the bed so Diva 1 could not rest her weary head anywhere.  I am also suffering from multiple pulled muscles from hauling ALL of our bags upstairs while Diva 1 rested her feet up on the couch. I am getting a cold sore from all the stress that Mother has put me under.  Oh the things I do for her. 

We have had an interesting day to say the least.  We got up way too early and lay in bed being grumpy for a few minutes before we made our way down to the Nordstrom Rack.  It didn’t really live up to my expectations.  I know mother has told you that I found “irreplaceable things” there so I am going to explain my purchases to you so that you will feel a little more secure knowing that I am a good shopper.

1. I found Champion leggings (normally $46-50) for $25.  This is a bargain considering I need good workout pants.

2. I found a Missoni skirt that had just come in off the Nordstrom racks.  Missoni.  If that isn’t quality, I don’t know what is.

3. I found a READ: $15 dress that I can wear for rush.  Diva 1 even liked it (a rare occurrence when we shop together.) 

Anyway, so then we go to the real Nordstrom.  We went into Chanel and I looked at the bag that I have been looking at for a good 4 years.  In case anyone wants to buy it for me it’s the large (not medium, not jumbo) reinvented 2.55 bag (read: NOT the 2.55—it’s the one with the CC clasp that was redesigned by Karl Lagerfield in the 80’s.)  And I would prefer it in calfskin, not lambskin because that is the more durable option.  Oh, and in black, not caviar with the gold chain, not silver.  Not in a diva way.  So Mom and I drooled in the store for a while before heading over to shoes.  I found so many cute shoes!  (But don’t worry Dad, I really used my self control and I didn’t even get 1/8 of the shoes I tried on today!  You must be beaming with pride.)

This is where Mom made her biggest mistake yet; she left me alone.  In the shoe department.  I told her it was a bad plan, but she needed to run upstairs and find a new outfit.  So, this kind of sexy, adorable and VERY friendly man came over to help me.  I just explained what I needed and all of a sudden he was whirling and twirling shoe after shoe in front of me parading them back and forth.  This was the beginning to a very good relationship…it’s like he knew exactly what I wanted and then had all of these other suggestions…I loved him. So, I probably tried on I mean, let’s not be specific, but several pairs of shoes that I had vetoed before Anne even made it back downstairs.  Then she gets there and tries on a couple pairs of boots, can’t make up her mind and then buys a pair of wedges, all the while making me feel guilty for selecting so many shoes.  Clearly, NOT my fault.  I was left unattended.  She did try and get me to get the all-sparkly Toms…but I said no.  Even I have some limits.

 

Then we went to lunch at PF Changs.  OMG.  I cannot even tell you the people we have run into.  There are some incredibly well dressed people living here, and then there are some people whose clothing should be burned and buried.  It’s bad.  We saw some woman in red tights, chacos, (THAT’S RIGHT, tights and sandals), short teal parachute pants/gauchos and a terrible printed wool sweater.  AND a hat.  I personally said a silent prayer for her this time.   We also saw at least 4 people talking to themselves, which we can’t really judge because Mom does it too.

After this, we finally went to H&M.  Diva 1 is so overdramatic and she thinks that this experience has scarred her for life.  I love H&M.  It’s a hit or miss, but that’s the fun in it.  She huffed and puffed and groaned and moaned and went outside and came back in several times.  Such a diva.  I found several cute things that I got with my own money since Anne would have laughed me out of Seattle if I had asked her to pay for them!

Now we are back at the hotel and we are going to go to dinner soon.  Who knew we could make sitting in Nordstrom all day entertaining?

Now Diva 1 is trying to pick out her breakfast-in-bed for tomorrow.  She is being such a diva about the menu.  I can’t even discuss it with you.  Hopefully we will all be acting like “number ones” tomorrow!  Now, I know that I have talked about how much the Fairmont feels like home, but I will tell you how it doesn't feel like home.  Yesterday, we are walking back to our room and this bell hop is delivering a huge chocolate tray to some room.  I casually mention that we are in room 424 and jokingly say thanks!  20 minutes later, he shows up with chocolate covered strawberries for us.  I love this place, but it is not like home because please picture in your mind Anne's face if I asked her to bring me some chocolate covered strawberries to my room!  We are sad to leave, to say the least.    

Sidebar: I would just like to say, I do not own any shoes that could possibly be classified as “ho-like.”  Mom just does not understand the current trends of studs and exposed zippers.  This is almost as bad as when I used to come downstairs ready to go out and she would ask me, “How much are you charging?” which is apparently her nice way of telling me to change.  I would always retort “More than you can afford”  before heading upstairs…to change.  Such a sass.   No breakfast-in-bed for her.

Oh, I forgot to add, in other news Diva 1 has gone BA Biker Babe in her new leather jacket.  Watch out, Oregon!

Anne: Tonight, the divas are in a coma-like state. We were at the Nordstrom Rack store at exactly 9:30 when they opened the doors. I’ll be honest with you, it was a disappointment. It wasn’t as big or as fun as Filene’s Basement in Boston, which is what I expected this to be. It was picked-over, but you-know-who managed to find three things she couldn’t live without. (Don’t read that part, honey).

Next we walked up to the REAL, mother-ship store, Nordstrom’s. It was what we had been driving these thousands of miles for. It was not crowded on a Monday morning, so we practically had the entire store to ourselves. First we went into the Chanel section and each picked out the purse we’d like for this season (don’t worry, honey, we didn’t buy anything, just put something on our Christmas lists). Then we picked up and fondled every purse in the rest of the store. We picked it up, talked about it, opened it up and then put it back. That was lots of fun. Then we moved to shoes. Here is where I went wrong: I told Molly to stay in the shoe department while I ran upstairs to look for a dress and a sweater. Somewhere on our journey across America, I have managed to lose a dress and a sweater. Keep in mind it could be in the Grey Goose/Ghost and I just can’t find it under all of that junk, but I was trying to replace what I believe has probably stolen. Some crazed fan might have cut up chunks of my clothing to sell on e-Bay, right alongside some of Michael Jackson’s personal belongings, but anyway, I was looking for something for me. I am going to check out e-Bay tonight to see if I recognize anything formerly of mine.

Woe is me when I came back down the escalator and saw the dozens of shoe boxes surrounding the little Diva. The little man helping her was sweating like a pig from all the running he had had to do! (Don’t read this part, either, honey). He was lathered up like a racehorse. But he had a glint in his eye like he was retiring tomorrow after helping us today! She patiently took out every pair of shoes and explained to me how many times she could wear them and exactly what outfit(s) they would go with. By her calculations, it was going to cost $.02 per shoe each time she wore them. I didn’t buy it, but I did buy her the shoes. (If she had been eaten by a bear, I wouldn’t have had to buy her any new shoes). And some of the ones she bought are, well, how do it put this delicately, “ho” shoes. You-know-who says I am just jealous becaue I can’t wear “ho” shoes anymore, but she is wrong. With my impeccable breeding and manners, I NEVER would have worn “ho” shoes at any stage of my life. Nevertheless, she will be well-shod for the rest of her life.

I, on the other hand, bought only one pair, and an inexpensive one at that. It’s hard to buy much for yourself when you have just dropped off a big ol’ check to the Washington po-po! Maybe by the time I get to the San Francisco parts, my guilt feelings will be gone and I can shop like you-know-who.

Then we had lunch because we were worn out. By that time, Molly was reinvigorated enough to make a two-hour foray into H&M. Honestly, have you all ever been in one of those stores?  I had to go outside to get a breath of fresh air, and I was just thinking that if I ever asked to go into one of those stores, please someone rush me to the hospital because I obviously have a brain tumor. I try and take her to a nice store, and we buy nice things, and then we go to this place which is only one step above Goodwill (where she also shops from time to time).

But while I was outside waiting for her to throw her money to the wind at H&M, I had the chance to observe people walking down the street in front of me. Oh, if only I had had my camera today. Y’all would be in the floor laughing. I just can’t figure out why some of these healthy-looking people ride their bikes around down, and then park and pull out a pack of cigarettes and light up. They were blowing smoke in my personal space and I was becoming a bit unglued. However, if it was a choice of sitting in a cloud of smoke or going back into H&M, I chose to breathe noxious fumes.

Anyway, we are back in our hotel room thinking about where to go for supper. We have to leave here tomorrow, and we are so very sad. This is our second time to stay here, and we love it so. When they bring the car around tomorrow, I’m going to ask those nice men if they would mind rearranging the Grey Goose for me to get all HER purchases in. It will be so embarrassing if they have to order a U-Haul trailer for us.

Tomorrow, we don’t exactly know where we are going. We were going to Forks to see where the Twilight movies were filmed, but we realize it’s pointless to go there unless we get on one of the sanctioned tours, and you know, we are just over tours at this point in our travels unless we are guaranteed a separate bus, so we may just wander down the Oregon coast.

Tomorrow we are having breakfast in bed since this will be our last opportunity to be pampered for a while. Since Diva Number Two was so desperate for sushi in Big Sky, I am ordering her the Japanese breakfast, but it’s a secret so don’t tell her. Here’s what she’s having: traditional selection of grilled salmon, steamed and pickled vegetables, coddled egg, Miso soup, rice and Japanese tea. Hope she likes it!

Your poor, but well-shod, Divas will update you tomorrow.

Leave us comments!

xoxo,

Anne & Molly